I keep waiting for my agent to give me some news—any news—on what's happening with Despite Them. Pocket Books still has the manuscript, but apparently it has gone into a slush pile awaiting an overworked set of eyes to look at it. It's a bit disheartening. Do I continue with with next book? Is it really worth my time and effort? It's like this with most creative types. If you have a drive to create something and can't find a market it for it, do you just give it up? Questioning yourself can lead to failure. It can also lead to change, but that can mean doing something you're not passionate about. Or it can mean finding a new path, one you may not have ventured down if left to your own devices. Change can be good.
So, does this mean my writing isn't marketable with the big boys? I don't have the answer to that, though I wish to God I did. Some crystal ball to tell me I'm on the right track.
But if I was asked to change how I write or the subject matter which I write about, would I feel the passion it takes to create memorable characters and story lines?
I don't think I would. I've been asked to write about my illness. I can't. There's something about my own feelings and experiences I can't put to words. I've tried. Perhaps it's because I just want to forget it and move on with my life rather than reopening the wound and digging at it until it bleeds.
For now, I'll continue to let my characters play in my head, letting them come up with their own lives that always seem to involve murder and mayhem. I often wonder if that's my true self coming out. Devious, conniving, and always looking for trouble. Hmm. Something to think about.
Anyway, I know you're all waiting for something to read, but you'll just have to be satisfied with Diana Gabaldon and Sara Donati until I can get my break.
And thanks for waiting!